Category: Let's talk
Since I'm not much of a chatterer, and I mostly use this site to read and write posts on the boards, I have a question about something I've encountered in Quicknotes more than once. Why is it that, especially if I have my QN prefs set to public, some random person, usually somebody I've never heard of, wil suddenly want to private QN me to say Hi. I say Hi back for the sake of politeness unless I don't want to bother, but apparently that's all that person wanted to say. Seems a bit of a waste of time to me, and it seems it's always total strangers and not any of the people whose names are familiar in these boards. I want to ask these people who they are and why they're hitting me up privately but I feel that's a bit too rude. I generally only private Quicknote people who might use this system but who I know from other places on the net if I feel I have something to say to them. I'd never Quicknote anyone just to say Hi and leave it at that. This is why I'm set currently to private QN's only but may well shut them totally off again.
If I see a new user name logged on, I will first check out their profile. If I feel we have anything in common, I will send a private QN to say hi. I also tend to ask them how they like the site and if they need any help with anything. I do this because I needed help figuring some things out when I joined. I only say hi to people who sound interesting to me and with whom I would like to strike up a conversation and maybe get to know better. I never say hi just for the sake of saying hi.
i also look at a profile first to see if i'd like them or not, and sometimes i'll go by board posts.
i'm the sort of person who will just send a qn saying hi, and allow the other person to expand on the chatting side, although, if i see we have a common interest i will point that out to them.
I say hi to people to be polite especially people who dont seem to comunicate in publics or anything. I will pqn and say hi then proceed to ask if the require any help with the site. If I like thre profile I will message and try to become friends with them. I think that's one of the main points of the site.
Well Labyrinth a Friend is a Total Stranger that we have yet not had opportunity to meet and chat and talk with.
I notice that there are those who seem to never public quick note but will private quick note with me on a regular basis. I think perhaps there is a shyness that prevents some from public quick noting.
You mention, “hitting me up privately,” by someone simply saying “hi.” Maybe I am not understanding but “hitting someone up” carries a thot of more than a simple “hi”…more hmm sexual perhaps in nature. I personally do not take a “hi” from someone as that one desiring to “hit me up privately.”
If I were only to talk/chat with those I met some where else, well, not much going on there. “Hi” is a good place to start…better perhaps than saying “bye” on Greeting another… I realize that with a few it is a simple “hi’ and almost nothing more.. so be it, nothing to rattle my cage for more often than not a simple “hi” grows after a time or two to something more, something of interest and if not the talk/chat simply stops at that point.
Personally I have no problem with anyone turning off quick notes realizing that as much as I don’t or rather to date have not used that feature as my notes are always on yet, still sometimes I come on simply to post to a board and leave and I have noted that when it is a time I want to simply post and another is private quick noting me I simply pqn them and explain I am at Boards posting and will talk/chat later with them. That seems thus far to have worked beautifully. I get to continue on doing what I desire to do and the other one knows I am not simply “ignoring” them.
Connie
CG, I was using slang. To me, to hit one up is to communicate in any way, as in send a message.
I realize this thread is old, but it came up in a search and it's something that has bothered me before as well. I'm also the type to read someone's profile first, to see if I'm interested and also to ensure that I have something of substance to say to them. I saw someone who specifically requested in their profile that if people QN them, they say more than just "hi." I think this is a good policy, and I try to encourage it by example. If I see someone I want to talk to, I'll say in my first QN either that I like their user name, have something specific in common with them, or ask them a question about something they said in their profile or a board post. Reading someone's profile is a good way to let people know you really want to get to know them and hear what they have to say.
I'll say hi to people I've never talked to, but I'll do my best to tell them the reason for my saying hi. From there, it's their choice whether or not they would like to continue the conversation. I won't be offended either way.
I wish users would do more than just post 'hi' ... if you did read the profile or have some other interest in convo, maybe at least a sentence or two? 'hi' implies I either need to go and reead yours just to find out you were just 'hi-ing around and meant nothing. A sentence or more would help establish something.
Exactly.
Well, these days when you try and say hi...you get ignored and um...?
How would you know what I'm like if you've ignored me? Yes, I do agree that the hi thing isn't nec and I also try and see what we have in common...
But what bothers me the most is the pm thing...if they don't send back in pqn then I wasn't that important in the first place.
I agree that getting a qn just saying hi is a bit annoying. There are a few people on here who are known for doing that. They either don't want a real conversation or expect the other person to be the one to take it beyond the greeting, but I personally feel the person saying hi should be the one to start a conversation if that is what they want. I never just say hi to someone without letting them know why I'm saying Hi.
ok smiles. well. i think looking at there profile. is good. to see. if we've got anything in commin. smsmiles.
I've got a couple of people who will private message me and say hi just as soon as I log in. They communicate with other people in publics, but it's as though they're ashamed to greet me publically. All they're doing is saying hi, so why the hell do they have to do it privately? When I respond and say hi back to them, they don't say anything else. What a pointless waist of time, especially when I see them greeting others in public. If they're so ashamed of me, why should I bother replying? So I usually don't. These people sure know how to get in touch with me when they have computer issues though. Grrr.
I can't stand when people say nothing more than hi. at the same time, I don't feel it's something that should be addressed in my profile. that's just me, though.
Since this topic has been brought back up from the depths, I'll make a few more remarks. It kills me when someone I've never talked to sends me a qn saying hi and then asking me my name or where I'm from. Instead of answering, I tell them to read my profile as that information can be found there. They usually never bother saying anything else to me. I find that funny for some reason.
The other day, someone sent me a PQN, asking for the user ID of another zoner who was logged in. He said he wanted to ignore the person and needed the ID. I told him to click the profile and the ID would magically pop up. and there are other ways to ignore, but I didn't figure the person would understand it if I tried to explain how to do it.
Someone sent me a QN once, someone I'd never talked to, simply saying Hi. Will you have phone sex with me? Those are the type of people I will instantly ignore. Everyone else who just says hi, I'll at least give them a chance, unless they've made such behaviors a common habit, in which case I neither reply nor put them on ignore.
maybe I'm in the minority here, but I completely ignore people who simply say "hi". if you have nothing of substance to say, don't fucking bother me.
I don't mind if someone sends me a quick note saying hi. As long as they don't send me weird or inappropriate messages, its okay with me.
Hi is acceptable to me if,
1. you know me and its more of a hey, just in case you didn't see me sign in kind of thing.
2. You start a conversation but are capable of actually carrying it.
Problem is most of my friends have more to say than hi, even if they're just making contact, and 2. Most people who resort to "hi" usually don't have anything valuable to comunicate on here in these settings, and they don't put out the work to do more.
agree with James.
for the record, though, I was specifically referring to people I've never spoken to before.
Wow! I wsuppose if you are uptight about being said hi to maybe put that in your profile and also on your statis line? Even off the Zone, say on a city street someone might just say hello, have a nice day, and they don't know you. The only way here, specially if a person doesn't talk on the public form, to get to know someone is to great them. Many people have greated me that way and we chat all the time, but they don't talk on the public forms. Whatever happened to excepting some kindness? Smile. Just my thoughts.
I see your point, but would you find random Email addresses via facebook or google or something, and just send all these people random Emails just saying Hi? I know that if I got such an Email, I wouldn't be angry or block them, but I probably wouldn't respond to them either. A simple little message telling me a little about yourself and what you would like to know about me would be nice. I would be more than happy to respond if that was the case.
sending me a short message to say hi and whatever is fine... people may feel shy and may not know what to say at first but will feel more comfortable as the conversation continues.
a person on the street saying hi is different than doing so on here, in my opinion. as I said earlier, if you have something of substance to say, make it more than one word.
Hi. Email and a public website are different. My email address is not posted here, but you can email me without knowing my email, or you can send a private message here. Now all these settings can be set so that knowone can do this, so if I didn't want a general hello, I'd also set these settings. Now for the person that doesn't wish this how do they go about metting people on this site? A question for you. What is the proper way to do it? Also why is a person on a public street different then a person on a public website?
Passing someone on the street and saying hi is not the same because in that situation, neither party expects to engage in a conversation. But on here, if someone says hi to me, I expect they want to get to know me or ask a question about something. Just saying hi makes me wonder what they want. That is why I read profiles and only say hi to new people if I think we have some things in common that we could talk about. I never just say hi and leave it at that.
well said, Becky. my thoughts exactly.
I agree. If you have the same or similar interests as someone else, you'll have more to talk about and feel more comfortable.
To be clear, its not so much the "hi" that really annoies me, its the fact that many people who start a conversation like that arn't going to carry it to anything more. I've tried with people many a time, asking questions that in theary should take more than one word to answer, or even refferencing common interests, and usually none of it works. At this point i'm jaded about the hole deal.
Hi!
Okay, so we are on a public website and someone says hi and you say hi back right. Maybe that person doesn't know how to carry on and would like to get to know you, but really doesn't know how to start. When someone says hi to me I offer them an in. "Hi friend, how are you today?" Now if they don't answer back I assume 1. Maybe they said hi to the wrong person. 2. Maybe they got off the zone. or 3. Maybe that was all they wanted. In any case it doesn't bother me much I just continue on with my day. I have read someones profile and have done exactly what has been suggested here said hi and followed that up with a question about her country. It got me my ignore settings updated. Smile. So, okay you can't say hi just to be friendly and you can't say hi and really want to get to know that person, specially, if it's a female, she assumes that you are trying to start a love relationship, and what you really want to know is about a book she said she liked, nothing more, and well okay people. Seems you can't win.
Hi Becky! Lol.
Lol. Well, I don't mind if people PQN me saying hi, but try to follow it up with something. Like, how's your day going, at least. I dunno. It's not a huge deal to me, as I don't know very many people on here yet, and at least if someone contacts me I've a chance to meet a cool person.
Lol. Well, I don't mind if people PQN me saying hi, but try to follow it up with something. Like, how's your day going, at least. I dunno. It's not a huge deal to me, as I don't know very many people on here yet, and at least if someone contacts me I've a chance to meet a cool person.
Oops...sorry about that! I guess I accicently hit send too many times.
think about it for a second, though. If you're trying to get to know people and make new friends, wouldn't you want to be a little more engaging so the other person would actually have a question to answer, or a statement to comment on? If you simply say "hi", and the other person responds back with "hi", that's usually about the length of the conversation. However, if you say "Hi. I noticed we have similar tastes in music, according to your profile", or something of the sort, the other person knows there might be a common subject to talk about.
Sometimes, if I find a person's profile really witty or ingrigueing, I will write to them and say hi, and something along the lines of that I really liked their profile, and that's all I wanted to say. Perhaps I just want them to know that I got a chuckle out of the profile or something. If their public quicknotes are off, I can't tell them without writing them privately.
That's totally acceptable. I just don't understand people saying "hi", and nothing else whatsoever. Especially when they do it privately. I can understand saying hi to someone in passing in publics as they've just logged on, but if I'm singling a particular person out to say hi, I'd like to have a little more to add to the conversation.
I don't mind it myself, don't see the problem at all, I love openness, friendliness, and acceptance, so I'll help it as much as I can. I usually do that myself, but when I say hi I expect them to say hi back and then I usually follow hi a lot of times mean hey you want to talk? when people say hi I usually say hi! How are you? or something like that, or oh I don't think we've talked before it's nice to meet you. or something like that. The only problem is if they refuse to follow up and when next time this happen the same thing occurs and that's a case by case bases and the disconnect must come first before I ignore them. or whatever the case is. I won't just ignore someone for saying hi, that's just silly and tells you how open, friendly, and accepting you are. I usually don't read profiles, I rather talk to them and get to know them instead of reading the profiles which isn't interactive. Most people who say hi we usually talk very well, and if they can't carry a conversation I usually just greet them civilly or sometimes play around with them.